Its been a while since she visited the grim valley where she was unable to express so she extended her arm to take support of jotting it down.. Although it was beyond heavy to be lifted by her shoulders, but she knew shes strong enough to stand firm..

Many a time people wronged her, attributing something to her which wasn’t even there in the first place.. She thought so many people cannot be wrong, and she heard an echo from the past, “nobody is in ur heart that they would know how you feel about them, but yes everybody listens to your tongue.” ,Which is bitter than the pangs of Black Mumba…

Dignity, self-respect, character….. Things she herself cared for more than beauty… Yeah ok beauty as well… But she was accused of taking those and trampling them under her feet… “Was she capable of doing that”, she thought..when she herself never wanted to let anyone blot hers.. floods of thoughts hit her hard.. her eyes tracing for the words where she could possibly have hit others.. OR where people might have misunderstood her… People misunderstood her quite often, when she wanted to say one thing, she acted out another… “What was rationale behind it…?”, She pondered.

She had read somehwere if people stayed with people at their worst, such people must not be let go… And so she had developed this defence mechanism, where she showed her worst first to see whether people would accept her.. and her worst fears would always win……….

Expressing how she truly felt had always been a herculean task for her.. for which she paid dearly…. Would people ever know when they’re contended in their lives, would they ever realise how much pain somebody felt while paying for her pure intentions understood wrong, will time tell her that..? Her thoughts were interrupted and she had to put on a garb n leave her room with her thoughts….

There are many forms of telepathy.. She didn’t want to confine this term by defining it, but it always fascinated her; however, back then she didn’t know it can be done in more than one way.. She could read people – rather ones she was close to – and could understand them. Something bothered her lately and she couldn’t quite understand what.. That feeling of not-knowing frustrated her.. Its a blessing and a curse at the same time, to understand people, to be able to know what they’re going through..

It was dark in her room.. Its been dark lately in her room.. She enjoyed darkness as much as she enjoyed being alone.. She dreamt bizarre dreams, which did not make any sense at the moment but she could feel they happened later.. One ought not to neglect intuition.. It often tell you the right thing.. Body has interesting way of communicating with the spiritual world.. Many scientists are trying to find how dreams function but they have had no success till date..

Recently, that dream had occupied her mind, she did not want to forget it, but no matter how hard she tried, details were slipping from her mind.. She couldn’t make sense of it at that time but she knew it should not be neglected..and so she wanted to protect people she cared about by any means possible.. She left her laptop on and let those words be felt by air around her..

Everything that happens in life has some deep meaning behind it.. One cannot decode that meaning at a time but it sure knows how to reveal itself with time.. Important thing about such meanings is the lessons learnt.. It was one of those moments in life which left her at crossroads yet again.. In a longer run, it would seem trivial but at the time it felt a humungous rock on her chest..

All the pain and hurt caused by something can be avoided if a little effort is put in the beginning of taking any particular action.. When she thought about it while sitting in her room all alone, she came to conclusion that people do not have power over her, it was her who gave them rather handed over them that power..

She was on the verge of doing it again.. It was like she didn’t learn any lessons.. Sometimes people hurt you not to tell you that they are bad but to tell you that you’re gullible to trust them.. Its always in one’s hands to control if they want to be hurt in life..thats what she thought but didn’t act upon..

Addiction – she thought was dangerous, of any kind and of all kind.. She had a tendency of getting addicted easily.. That was her way of thinking.. She wondered if somebody out there thought differently.. With that, she put her pen down and left her dark room.. Somehow she always made her room dark, turned off the lights and drew curtains..

She once read nature is the most cruel of all the teachers. She was in that phase of life where she could apply all the knowledge she learnt in her carefree days. Quotes, famous sayings, others’ experiences and their wisdom, nothing helps when one is in a situation until one experiences it, gets hurt by it, falls because of it and learns to get back up again..

She wondered how what she wrote years ago could still hold true.. Although she did not remember why she jotted down what she jotted down, but she was in the same rut again.. What if it was all her, she thought..

She learnt nothing from the cruelest of teachers – nature. She trod on the same path which led her to the valley of pain in the first place. Here she was again, im her dark room, thinking where did she go wrong. Everyone and everything around her went silent or started whispering if they had something to say. She thought about all the possible scenarios she could have handled herself better and not let anyone see her vulnerable side, she always did first n regretted later.

This time she knew her wait was not justified, she could not be unjust if she wanted to be treated justly, yet, she was being unjust towards some she never even met. The thought of being hated by that soul n then by HIM, disturbed her and always stopped her from taking a step towards….. 

The problem, she thought, was that pain she had to go through in order to reset her. She knew she had strong will power, she knew she had heart-wrenching control, what she didnt like about the process was her heart.. Thats the problem with empaths, she wrote, they feel too much. The incident crossed her mind which had happened earlier, she was driving back to her abode and at one of the signals she said NO! to the boy who wanted to wipe the windshield in order to get the money, sternly. The moment she said it she regretted it and she couldnt shake that off of her mind. 

No matter how cruelly nature wanted to teach her the harsh truths about the world n the people living in it, she knew she’d always get hurt again because of her heart, or may be her guillible nature n naivety.. With that thought she decided to embrace the diety of sleep n not fight her anymore……..

She always wanted to read minds and behaviours of others and wanted to look into the souls.. Fortunately or unfortunately, she has been surrounded by such psycho people that gave her ample opportunity to read them. One fine afternoon she was sitting in her room and thinking about ways how to about her new life when she was bombed with a news.. One of her patients again did something. Her that patient in particular wanted to be in limelight, for which she did everything she could, good or bad.

She was weary of her own mental condition and exhausted from the constant struggle of fighting with the values and her own feelings. She was surrounded by people who were happy and this blazed her sould to the core. She could not at all tolerate people being tranquil and happy. Currently, her cannon was towards her another colleague whom she tortured so bad that her colleague lost all her gleam and shine.

Many psychologists have done their research and given many theories and methods as to how to treat such people, but nobody has been able to give substantial method for how to make a patients realise that they need help. She was in denial, her innocent face led others to believe that she was unable to do any mischief. That was the quality which she exploited the most.

Ignoring – she thought is the best option and remedy to deal with such twisted people, untill she could find a better solution for her and to save others from her as well. With this conclusion she took a deep breath amd put down her pen, it was about time to have a mug of tea…..

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton