Its been a while since she visited the grim valley where she was unable to express so she extended her arm to take support of jotting it down.. Although it was beyond heavy to be lifted by her shoulders, but she knew shes strong enough to stand firm..
Many a time people wronged her, attributing something to her which wasn’t even there in the first place.. She thought so many people cannot be wrong, and she heard an echo from the past, “nobody is in ur heart that they would know how you feel about them, but yes everybody listens to your tongue.” ,Which is bitter than the pangs of Black Mumba…
Dignity, self-respect, character….. Things she herself cared for more than beauty… Yeah ok beauty as well… But she was accused of taking those and trampling them under her feet… “Was she capable of doing that”, she thought..when she herself never wanted to let anyone blot hers.. floods of thoughts hit her hard.. her eyes tracing for the words where she could possibly have hit others.. OR where people might have misunderstood her… People misunderstood her quite often, when she wanted to say one thing, she acted out another… “What was rationale behind it…?”, She pondered.
She had read somehwere if people stayed with people at their worst, such people must not be let go… And so she had developed this defence mechanism, where she showed her worst first to see whether people would accept her.. and her worst fears would always win……….
Expressing how she truly felt had always been a herculean task for her.. for which she paid dearly…. Would people ever know when they’re contended in their lives, would they ever realise how much pain somebody felt while paying for her pure intentions understood wrong, will time tell her that..? Her thoughts were interrupted and she had to put on a garb n leave her room with her thoughts….
amnazafar 